Playing Games
To some of you it comes as no surprise that I play online games, and others I know are wondering what the hell I see in it. There's a certain stigma attached to something like WoW, EQ2 or Dark Age of Camelot. It's not a stigma that's attached to Galactic Civilzations or Oblivion for whatever reason. At the core of it all games are pointless beyond taking up spare time (or more than spare time). Online games have the added cost of requiring a subscription fee. In exchange, you've got a social haven to go 24/7 with people who are interested in the same things you are. At the same time, you also have a game with no definable endpoint and can pull your life out of balance.
My last three relationships have begun online with women I've met in game. I've had to explain that to my parents which is always an interesting discussion. Now, they just sort of nod their heads and don't ask too many questions. There's a couple of bonuses to a relationship starting out this way. First is, of course, since they play the game it's an acceptable way of spending time together. The stigma isn't attached. Second is their defenses are lessened. I get to see a more natural side of the person because there's a degree of anonimity. In some cases I see the bad side, but I also see the good side too. People get to act out their gallant fantasies, or be quietly generous. They get to be the life of the party they'd otherwise never get invited to or have the balls to crash. I see the other side that they don't normally share, just as I'd be myself. There was an immediate basis for friendship and so the relationships just ended up happening.
With Lavalife, things are different. The immediate basis for for friendship is that people are looking for a date/relationship, but I'm able to take some initiative and even just smile to someone. If they want to smile back, then I'll say hi. If not, well, I just find a new fishing hole.
When they do smile back, that's when the hard part happens. I have to try and form a decent conversation. Thus far not all that easy since things are limited to emails. Maybe I'm expecting too much, and certainly I don't know what to expect.
As always, I have no idea what I'm doing. Unlike my previous relationships though, anything stemming from Lavalife will not result in a long distance relationship across three timezones and expensive plane tickets. Instead, I can just ask her out for coffee. Who knows, maybe she'll be looking for Egg of Youth 3/3 or understand why those 45 minute Baron runs are complete bullshit.
My last three relationships have begun online with women I've met in game. I've had to explain that to my parents which is always an interesting discussion. Now, they just sort of nod their heads and don't ask too many questions. There's a couple of bonuses to a relationship starting out this way. First is, of course, since they play the game it's an acceptable way of spending time together. The stigma isn't attached. Second is their defenses are lessened. I get to see a more natural side of the person because there's a degree of anonimity. In some cases I see the bad side, but I also see the good side too. People get to act out their gallant fantasies, or be quietly generous. They get to be the life of the party they'd otherwise never get invited to or have the balls to crash. I see the other side that they don't normally share, just as I'd be myself. There was an immediate basis for friendship and so the relationships just ended up happening.
With Lavalife, things are different. The immediate basis for for friendship is that people are looking for a date/relationship, but I'm able to take some initiative and even just smile to someone. If they want to smile back, then I'll say hi. If not, well, I just find a new fishing hole.
When they do smile back, that's when the hard part happens. I have to try and form a decent conversation. Thus far not all that easy since things are limited to emails. Maybe I'm expecting too much, and certainly I don't know what to expect.
As always, I have no idea what I'm doing. Unlike my previous relationships though, anything stemming from Lavalife will not result in a long distance relationship across three timezones and expensive plane tickets. Instead, I can just ask her out for coffee. Who knows, maybe she'll be looking for Egg of Youth 3/3 or understand why those 45 minute Baron runs are complete bullshit.
posted by Serdic at 19:20
2 Comments:
I think that the main advantage of a relationship formed out of online gaming is that they truly do understand you telling them that you can't go out for your anniversary dinner because you have a ML raid that you've been really needing. Or that you're close to RR** and have to go RvR. Okay, so maybe they really wouldn't understand in that case, but they don't assign a nerd factor to your playing because they would have the same stigma. Unless they freely admit and embrace their inner nerd like Maw and I do.
Economics would definately be a factor though, and long distance relationships really suck. It's one thing if you've known someone and are in a long term relationship and you have to put up with it, but for someone I barely knew it would be a bit difficult for me.
The biggest problems, I've found, with long distance relationships are that you can't see everything that isn't said. Body language is really important.
It sort of hit me the other day as I was going to a friends birthday that anybody I met on Lavalife would not mean I had to wait a few months for a mutually convenient time to go visit them. Instead, I could quite conceivably invite them for coffee or a round of golf and get to know them the old fashioned way.
It's scary because it's something I've, quite frankly, never done. But I'm tired of sitting on my ass and waiting for the world to come to me.
Anyways, this is something different and at the very worst, I'll get to meet some new people.
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