If you're not confused...
... then you're not really learning. It was one of those life lessons that sort of snuck in when you weren't looking. Kerfufl casually tossed that out to the audience in the third year of our college program as she and her project joined battle against the evil tuple theory. I'm glad I was paying attention.
The point is, I'm not really confused anymore, at least not about what I'm doing at work. I don't mind being confused. In fact, I take some comfort in having something else to figure out. In the morning, I have an interview for a new position within my current company. It sounds interesting enough. At least, it would give me a new area to explore if the opportunity is what I want.
Regardless of whether or not I want it, I miss being confused and I'm frustrated by finding myself in what seems to be a dead end. I'm partly to blame for my situation as I spent a lot of time figuring out non-work aspects of my life. Now that those things seem to be falling into place, I've turned some of my attention back to my professional development, which I'd let slip. Essentially, I've found myself in a dead end with no real prospects of growth in my current position. I've allowed myself to stagnate. Perhaps there'll be a renaissance and I'll be able to grow again, but I doubt it. I simply don't have the passion or interest I did in my first couple of years on the job, and frankly I have someone to come home to now. I wear a smile because of her, not for her.
So my choices are change jobs or move companies. While I'm supremely confident that I'll be offered the position, despite heavy competition, I'm not sure what I'll do if someone else gets the position. I don't want to change, just for the sake of change. I want what I'm changing to, to be an opportunity that will allow me to grow again and help me find some of that passion I once had.
And perhaps I have to search for that elsewhere. I've long suspected that I just don't fit in... like I'm on the wrong bus. I've stayed for a number of reasons; being trusted enough that your boss doesn't question when family emergencies arise, and tells you to just go; sweet rrsp plan; work with some really smart people; work with my friends; it's comfortable there and I hate change.
That last statement is pretty funny considering the changes I've made over the past year, but it's true. I'm a creature of habit and I need a certain amount of routine and order. I've gone beyound that though, and found myself in rut. Now, I have to dig myself out of it. Unlike how I slowly and effortlessly slid into the rut, it's not going to be easy to get out of it. I also need to get out of the rut in fairly short order.
Ideally, someone would pay me to play with new technologies and then write up how to use it/work with it/develop with it, and I wouldn't be under a crush of deadlines. However, until I can find and qualify for my dream job, I'm going to have to take what I've learned in the past 6.5 years, and sell that hard.
All so I can be confused.... and learning again.
The point is, I'm not really confused anymore, at least not about what I'm doing at work. I don't mind being confused. In fact, I take some comfort in having something else to figure out. In the morning, I have an interview for a new position within my current company. It sounds interesting enough. At least, it would give me a new area to explore if the opportunity is what I want.
Regardless of whether or not I want it, I miss being confused and I'm frustrated by finding myself in what seems to be a dead end. I'm partly to blame for my situation as I spent a lot of time figuring out non-work aspects of my life. Now that those things seem to be falling into place, I've turned some of my attention back to my professional development, which I'd let slip. Essentially, I've found myself in a dead end with no real prospects of growth in my current position. I've allowed myself to stagnate. Perhaps there'll be a renaissance and I'll be able to grow again, but I doubt it. I simply don't have the passion or interest I did in my first couple of years on the job, and frankly I have someone to come home to now. I wear a smile because of her, not for her.
So my choices are change jobs or move companies. While I'm supremely confident that I'll be offered the position, despite heavy competition, I'm not sure what I'll do if someone else gets the position. I don't want to change, just for the sake of change. I want what I'm changing to, to be an opportunity that will allow me to grow again and help me find some of that passion I once had.
And perhaps I have to search for that elsewhere. I've long suspected that I just don't fit in... like I'm on the wrong bus. I've stayed for a number of reasons; being trusted enough that your boss doesn't question when family emergencies arise, and tells you to just go; sweet rrsp plan; work with some really smart people; work with my friends; it's comfortable there and I hate change.
That last statement is pretty funny considering the changes I've made over the past year, but it's true. I'm a creature of habit and I need a certain amount of routine and order. I've gone beyound that though, and found myself in rut. Now, I have to dig myself out of it. Unlike how I slowly and effortlessly slid into the rut, it's not going to be easy to get out of it. I also need to get out of the rut in fairly short order.
Ideally, someone would pay me to play with new technologies and then write up how to use it/work with it/develop with it, and I wouldn't be under a crush of deadlines. However, until I can find and qualify for my dream job, I'm going to have to take what I've learned in the past 6.5 years, and sell that hard.
All so I can be confused.... and learning again.
posted by Serdic at 00:28
7 Comments:
Change isn't always bad - not nearly as bad as standing still.
Remember - if you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've always gotten.
Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.
"Ideally, someone would pay me to play with new technologies and then write up how to use it/work with it/develop with it" umm.... has anyone told you that you should become a librarian:) just because you are with a cataloguer, the rest of us get to play around with new technology!
1) Cataloguers get to play around with new technology, too. If they want to. I don't. ;-)
2) This is not the first time that career path has been suggested to him. *wink wink*
All well said. I can relate to this on many levels. Good luck with the interview.
Well, the interview went well enough, I suppose. It wasn't as technical as I thought it would be, nor was it as technical as others had.
So, I'm wondering if they were in fact interviewing me for the training position. I'll find out early next week.
So, while I was goofing off today ... I missed your post. AND, missed wishing you good luck. Bad friend, bad! I hope it went well, you get it if you want it or find something you want if you don't.
Of course, doing the whole librarian thing has merit. :)
Cheers, keeping my fingers crossed!
Kiy
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