Plenty of Fish
So, I guess artsy chick didn't dig me for what ever reason. To borrow a page from Darklight's book, she just wasn't that into me. It hurt for a few seconds as I admitted that to myself, but ultimately, it's best to just move on. I'd like to say I'm getting better at that, but really I'm not.
I'm still having problems getting over/letting go of the last one. I never really got closure, and instead I ended up surrendering a lot of my dignity in a desparate attempt to hold onto something that was never meant to be in the first place. In the end, I had to stop being friends. I'd always want something she couldn't give, and that's not fair to either of us. I think that's what bothers me most though... the fact that I couldn't allow myself to be friends because I'd just keep throwing myself down that path.
I'll be honest, a large part of me wishes she'd reconsider just so I could say no and get that closure. Vengeance is mine. I know that won't happen, but the mind is a funny thing. I think it'd have been easier if she said she just wasn't into me. I don't wish her any malice and I truly do hope things work out well for her. I find it best just to keep my mouth shut, and be polite and courteous. One of the benefits of online communication being you can grit your teeth as you smiley up your sentence. I really would like to just get over it, but I'm still trying to figure out how. They say the best way to get over the last one is to get into the next one. Perhaps that's true.
I learned and was taught a lot of lessons as a result of this, and some of them I keep learning. Most importantly, relationships are two sided. There has to be give and take, and when it's one sided for a really long time... then there is a problem. I don't regret it, but if I had to do things over again, I would do them differently.
And that's what I'm looking for with Lavalife and Plenty of Fish... a chance to do things differently. Eventually, I'll find someone who's into me and hopefully I'll be into them. And if I'm not, then I hope I'm strong enough to tell them the truth.
I got my first email on Plenty of Fish... hell, I didn't even initiate, but I damn sure replied. We'll see how that goes. =)
I'm still having problems getting over/letting go of the last one. I never really got closure, and instead I ended up surrendering a lot of my dignity in a desparate attempt to hold onto something that was never meant to be in the first place. In the end, I had to stop being friends. I'd always want something she couldn't give, and that's not fair to either of us. I think that's what bothers me most though... the fact that I couldn't allow myself to be friends because I'd just keep throwing myself down that path.
I'll be honest, a large part of me wishes she'd reconsider just so I could say no and get that closure. Vengeance is mine. I know that won't happen, but the mind is a funny thing. I think it'd have been easier if she said she just wasn't into me. I don't wish her any malice and I truly do hope things work out well for her. I find it best just to keep my mouth shut, and be polite and courteous. One of the benefits of online communication being you can grit your teeth as you smiley up your sentence. I really would like to just get over it, but I'm still trying to figure out how. They say the best way to get over the last one is to get into the next one. Perhaps that's true.
I learned and was taught a lot of lessons as a result of this, and some of them I keep learning. Most importantly, relationships are two sided. There has to be give and take, and when it's one sided for a really long time... then there is a problem. I don't regret it, but if I had to do things over again, I would do them differently.
And that's what I'm looking for with Lavalife and Plenty of Fish... a chance to do things differently. Eventually, I'll find someone who's into me and hopefully I'll be into them. And if I'm not, then I hope I'm strong enough to tell them the truth.
I got my first email on Plenty of Fish... hell, I didn't even initiate, but I damn sure replied. We'll see how that goes. =)
posted by Serdic at 15:23
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